Armageddon Ready

I truly believe there will be nuclear destruction in my lifetime: The world seems to be spinning faster and faster to the pulse of insane with the crazies moving stealthily amongst the masses, their fingers poised over the trigger, firing regularly and for no apparent good reason. A 'good' reason? Arnold Schwarzenegger in True Lies when asked by Jamie Lee Curtis "Have you ever killed anyone?" and his response "Yes, but they were all bad!" Bad needs killing, right? Well, how do you kill a bad attitude?

If your first thought after 'nuclear destruction' was to wonder how fast you could wear the numbers off your AMEX before time's up, that's exactly the bad attitude I'm speaking of! That girly-girl mentality that bores the crap out of me, the one that helps perpetuate the myth that women are the weaker sex, women who, if forced to leave the house without their hair and make-up in perfect condition, would fall into unbridled panic! But, if your first thought was 'Damn, I'm fierce enough to take on a nuke!' - now, that is a bad attitude that works! Seriously women, when did we become so shallow, so lacking in character? Of course, I generalize, but where are all the strong women?

Because I identified primarily with my Dad, his words "Daughter, if you want something done right, do it yourself!" became the mantra I embraced and maybe took too far. Ex-boyfriends have uttered these words as parting lines: "You're better at everything than I am" and "I feel like you don't need me for anything - you're quite capable on your own." I'll skip the other things they've said...This turned out to be another example of the Double Standard being alive and well: Don't be clingy but do be just the right amount of needy.

In my line of work, I meet a lot of women that display a lack of Kahunas. It's probably just that I am in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing to meet the right women, after all - jewelry will definitely attract girly-girls. Nothing wrong with that, but I need a buddy that can stand with me in the trenches, one that would never, ever dream of saying anything starting with the words "I can't..." I think of things I never would have done if I had said or thought that: Race motocross as the only female in an all-male field (and take a first-place trophy), build my own house, buy - then completely gut (by myself) and remodel (had some help with this part) another, work part-time as a Gladiator challenger stand-in, skydive, hang glide - lots of things! When viewed from this perspective, dieting should be such a breeze!

I picture myself in an apocalyptic scene similar to the one set forth in the Madonna video 'Two Souls in a Ghost Town', roaming the darkness, searching for souls to save - all while wearing that bad ass outfit she donned for the video. And there's my inner girly checking in! But damn, is she ever in fighting shape!