O Brother, Where Art Thou?


And now, it's time for another episode of 'Tales From The Gym.' I put myself through a grueling workout tonight, finally feeling the effects of the creatine I started taking 10 days ago and Shazaam! I feel as though I've been transported to a parallel universe where I have a ridiculous amount of untapped potential that I'm suddenly able to access and I go berserk! It's a true love affair; I can get carried away. Case in point: I was super-setting 5 exercises, trying for as little time between sets as possible. I left my towel on one machine and then started a circuit of 4 X through the 5 exercises. Well, of course I pissed someone off - without intending to -and I got super yelled at, so embarrassing, the whole gym must have heard. I know it was just a misunderstanding of basic gym protocol, but it really messed with my focus and brought this bad vibe. Tsssk, yeah right, for like 30 seconds! I kicked ass on that negativity damn fast, I'm SUCH a champion! Let's face it - weight training with commitment, focus and intensity causes that strength to become part of your entire being. It's such a beautiful thing and fortunately it helped me stay completely calm (and nice) while I was being verbally chastised. And just so you know sir - it's not that I'm rude (reason I left my towel on the machine according to pissed-off dude), I was being lazy! Besides, here's how it works in the gym for the seasoned and in-the-know: People will very often leave a towel on a machine. You just simply move it. If that person is bothered that you are using the machine when he comes back, it's his problem! Or, you could ask if it is alright for you to work in (this is my preference). It really, truly is that simple. There is no need to go all Clermont (a term coined to refer to instances where one gets into an altercation with another primarily induced by a heightened state of inebriation and the ensuing behavior that is tritely cat-fight like)! And while we're on the subject, here is another tip on gym etiquette:

It is not cool to touch a woman you don't know anywhere on her body. Men, I mean you. Especially when the woman is on an Elliptical at Level 19 with a resistance of 9, totally in JAM mode with her earbuds blasting. Just because you are on the Elliptical next to her does not give you permission to touch her arm, get her attention, insist you have something urgent enough that you won't leave her alone until she pulls out her earbuds and slows down her routine to hear what you have to say. I mean, how RUDE would that have been, for me to ignore you as you were being so insistent? And then, your big reveal: You point to your watch and say "Can you believe I'm not sweating? I've been at this 10 minutes!" The vacant look in my eyes and the fact I said nothing probably sent the message. And, oh - ewwww! Like, I don't even know you dude! Sometimes I think men are one step above newts. TIP: Wait for an appropriate time to approach a woman who is obviously very much into her workout and NOT in the gym to socialize. And, get a better line in order. Now, that being said, there may be a few exceptions to touch in the gym:

1. You are having a medical emergency and need assistance (CPR? Heimlich? Lobotomy?)

2. You are @ChanningTatum

End note: The gym is a place to become better and we are better when we support each other in our endeavors to that goal. Let's get the job done when we're there while displaying more compassion for each other!


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